Uncategorised

Each year UN Women choose a theme for International Women’s day that becomes the focus for events throughout the year. The theme for #IWD2023 is #EmbraceEquity and I have mixed feelings about it.

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion are fundamental to be work as a leader, a trainer and coach.

Diversity – I ask people to reflect on who is represented and who is present, also considering who is missing from the space we are occupying which could be a team, a meeting, a library or the curriculum.

Inclusion – I ask people to reflect on how we are doing inclusion by design. We often assume that others feel included because we feel included but the inclusion is not intentional. We need to interrogate how inclusive we are as a workplace and as an employer.

Equity – I ask people to consider the differences between equality and equity. We often think we are being fair by being equal, however the gaps remain the same and get moved up the system when we focus on equality, whereas equity is about identifying and dismantling the barriers.

It is interesting how many schools want to DEI work with the pupils and are less comfortable to do it with the staff. Schools are very focused on meeting the needs of pupils with different needs – there is a tangible commitment to find and remove the barrier pupils are experiencing, but we often neglect the different needs of the staff or do not have the data to inform us.

I ask schools to reflect on how data rich we are when it comes to our pupils and how data poor we often are when it comes to the staff. I ask schools to gather staff voice/ feedback and hear the uncomfortable truths of where the inequities for employees exist.

So having a spotlight on equity is brilliant and much-needed as it is the hardest part of this work. We need to make our workplaces more equitable and we need to address systemic, structural and societal inequities. However, embracing feels too soft for me.

Glass ceilings need shattering. Concrete ceilings need smashing. Inequities need dismantling and redressing. So ‘embracing’ equity feels like a bit of a cop-out. It is well-intended but misses the mark. Values need to be lived not laminated, and the value of equity needs activating for concrete actions not stroking. If it needed to be alliterative perhaps some better options could have been: Expecting Equity? Ensuring Equity? Embedding Equity?

A lot of DEI work does not stick, is not sustained and does not get results because it is framed as good intentions when instead we need to be focused on good outcomes. It is the impact that is essential in transforming how we do things to make a more inclusive workplace for all and a more equitable workplace for diverse employees (ie people with lived experience of the Protected Characteristics).
Thus, we need to consider: How will we measure it? How will we know when and where we are having impact? How will we track our progress?

In my DEI training sessions I talk about the 3 Cs of this work: Consciousness, Confidence and Competence. So here are my calls to action:

• How will we become individually and collectively, personally and professionally, more conscious of the inequities experienced by women in our workplaces? How will we activate more #HeForShe allies and advocates?
• How will we build confidence in analysing the gender data and openly discussing the inequities such as position and salary? How will we build confidence in calling in and calling out the gendered behaviour and the language that have become normalised in our workplace?
• How will we develop the competence to do this work in an intersectional way to consider the experience of women who are doubly, triply and quadruply disadvantaged as they have lived experience of multiple protected characteristics?

It is no surprise that I am a fan of coaching. Coaching has been transformational in supporting me in navigating my journey.

When I was an unhappy Deputy Headteacher I was coached by Carol Jones and Viv Grant. Both helped me get clear on my values, my purpose and helped me communicate my frustration. Moreover, they helped me be intentional about my next steps.

As a busy and very stretched Headteacher I was coached by Eve Warren and Nikki Armytage-Foy. Both helped me process the immensity of the role. Eve helped me focus on my strategic leadership as my job starting a new school was so operational. Nikki helped me focus on me and what I needed to be healthy, happy and fulfilled.

I made sure that my own SLT had access to coaching too. We had training with Fierce Conversations and Graydin, and we had a pool of coaches around our teams to support us on our leadership journeys, personally and professionally, individually and collectively.

Accrediting with Resilient Leaders Elements as I set up my own business accelerated my strategic thinking and goal-setting. I loved the practical and reflective tools that RLE and then Colour-Me Profiling enabled me to put in my growing toolkit of strategies to support my own coaching clients.

I then started my ICF certification journey with the Co-active Institute and I am finishing it with the Teleos Leadership Institute, at the same time as certifying with the British School of Coaching on their ILM L4 Executive Coaching and Mentoring Certificate. As I collated my coaching journey including coaching hours, clients and CPD over the last few years for one of my assessments it made me realise a few things about my experience of coaching:

Coaching is an investment
You need to invest time, energy, finance and resource to be coached and to be trained to coach. I have self-financed most of my journey as it has been about me, in my own time getting clear on different aspects of my life.

Coaching is a cultural commitment
We committed to creating a coaching culture as a school so everyone was trained and developed the skills and language to have courageous conversations. Through me DEI work I am thinking more and more about how coaching is the tool that organisations need to make changes to how inclusive they are as workplaces.

Coaching is about listening
I have definitely become a better listener as a coach. I hear what is being said, how it is being said but also what is not being said. The more I coach the less I say, the more powerful the questions are that I ask.

Coaching is a reflective practice
Yes the coaching session is where most of the action happens. But the mind is activated in the session and the thinking, talking and journaling continue beyond it. I encourage my busy school leaders to be coached from home, at the end of the day/ week so they can give themselves some processing time following the session.

Coaching is important, but so is mentoring
I find the hierarchy between these two support mechanisms an interesting one. In education mentoring is for those starting their careers and coaching is for those progressing up the ladder. Lots of people come to me for coaching when they really need mentoring – especially when they are new to role.

So as my coaching journey continues in 2023, what am I hoping to achieve?

I trained in 2021 with Resilient Leaders Elements & C-me Colour Profiling.

I trained in 2022 with Co-Active Training Institute & Teleos Leadership Institute.

In 2023 I will achieve my ILM Level 7 in Executive Coaching and Mentoring and I will certify with ICF.

In 2021 I coached 60 people, I coached for 265 hours and I trained to coach for 85 hours.

In 2022 I coached 35 people, I coached for 135 hours and I trained to coach for 155 hours.

In 2023 I want to coach less people more and do less training to apply the learning I have experienced.

I am also keen to build the bridge between my Leadership Development Consultancy, Coaching and Training and my advocacy through Diverse Educators. For me coaching is the gamechanger for the individual leaders I work with but also for the organisations I am supporting so systemic coaching for cultural transformation is the goal for my future coaching practice.

This is my 10th year of doing the #OneWord commitment where you choose a word to set an intention and to frame your year ahead. I really recommend it as a goal-setting exercise as my previous choices have helped me to manifest some opportunities and to make some big decisions.

My previous #OneWord commitments since 2015 have been Courage, Connection, Change, Thrive, Joy, Purpose, Freedom and Legacy.

Since leaving headship in 2019 and setting up my business in 2020 (following a short stint working in Higher Education) my lifestyle and my mindset have changed a lot. Some of my reasons for leaving the system were to have more autonomy, be more independent and to have more freedom. But there were also the factors of my wellbeing, my stress-levels and my increasing frustration. I basically wanted and needed more being and less doing. In a nutshell more life and less work!

I pledged that when I left the craziness of school leadership, because it is just that – the expectations, the pressures and the demands are unrealistic and unsustainable – that I would make some changes. When you are in it you know it is full on, but it is normalised as everyone is feeling the same and doing the same to survive. It has taken me a good 3 years to decompress and to unlearn/ relearn some of the survival techniques I have developed that have ultimately become bad habits that I needed to break.

I have worked on sleeping more, relaxing more, being less stressed, maintaining stronger boundaries and eating lunch every day! I am less institutionalised but I am still working on abandoning some of the systemic and structural ways of working that have been drilled into me over the last 20 years. They served me then, but are they serving me now?

I am definitely healthier and happier than I was, but with what I have gained there are some things that I have lost. One of the big ones is going from being on my feet and being active all day everyday to now being much more sedentary and sitting down far too much!

So my focus for this year is not wellbeing, nor self-care but health.

I have always taken my health for granted. I was brought up with my Mum running a large nursery school so I was exposed to everything quite early and I became very resilient to illness. I was the kid who was always at school and never got ill.

In my teens I had a ski accident and a car accident which impacted my back so spine health has been something I have managed throughout my adulthood, but osteophathy, massage and acupuncture help me manage any pain.

As a teacher I was also always in school, I was not susceptible to the cold, the flu or any other bugs that flew around the classrooms and the corridors. I had a few back issues and a few things triggered my mental health but on the whole I was healthy.

In my adulthood the only sickness I have experienced has been travel-induced – food poisoning, salmonella and other bugs (usually water-born) that I have picked up in far-flung destinations.

Then I turned 40, left teaching and the pandemic struck. And things changed…

I have had Covid three times and it took me a long time to get over it, with lingering symptoms like a chesty cough and a breathlessness… I have had joint pain in my knees which is aggravated by being in static/ enclosed spaces… every time I leave the country, despite being careful I pick something up and have a reaction to something I eat or drink… I fell over in the Ugandan jungle and damaged my left knee… and then I picked up a horrific bug when I was in Canada which took me weeks to get over.

A few of my friends have called me out on my mantra ‘I am never ill’ and held up the mirror that in the last few years I have actually been ill quite a lot. I have brushed it off a few times but being honest I need to face the reality my health records are not as flawless as I recollect them.

So my question to myself as a self-coach is what I am going to do about it? I coach everyone else to be empowered and to make changes but do I listen to my own advice?

Someone who coached me a while back made an observation once that I project manage everything else in my life but who is project managing me? I am going to start there and leverage some of the skills that have made my career/ business successful and apply them to myself.

Thus my #Oneword for 2023 is going to be health. I am going to prioritise getting healthier and getting stronger. I am going to make some changes and commit to a different, a healthier lifestyle as all of my excuses are thinning out.

“To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear”.
Buddha

“Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live”.
Jim Rohn

“Health is not valued, til sickness comes”.
Thomas Fuller

Limiting Beliefs: What is Holding You Back?

As a coach I have the privilege of working with lots of different people. It is a pleasure to be taken into their circle of trust, for them to share their innermost thoughts and their feelings with me. I often hear things that they have not said out loud to themselves or others before.

I hold space for them… I listen… I support… I hold up the mirror for them to see themselves… I play back what I hear so that they can hear what they have said… I catch them… and I help them make sense of the messiness.

A recurring theme in our conversations are the barriers and the obstacles that we put in our own way and the limiting beliefs that we have about ourselves that hold us back from realising goals and fulfilling our potential.

These limiting beliefs show up in different ways for different people: the very loud inner critic inside our head, the imposter syndrome that swamps us and the saboteur that creeps into the room. Each is like a weed that wraps itself around us, restricting our growth.

In order to overcome our limiting beliefs, we thus firstly need to be able to identify them. There is an expression that we need to ‘name them, to tame them’. By labelling them and articulating them we anchor them and get some control back over them.

We then need to identity where they come from so that we can tackle the root of this weed that is trying to strangle us. Often we think it is our voice, our thoughts and our feelings, but when we reflect and begin to unpack the words and the tone, we realise that we have internalised them from external sources. In that they have often come from a family member, a friend, a partner or a colleague, not from us.

I often say to my clients that we need to remind ourselves to see ourselves, talk to ourselves and treat ourselves how we treat others. We champion, cheerlead and build others up, so it is a double standard if we criticise, crush and pull ourselves down.

We all have limiting beliefs but we need to realise that we are the only ones who can control them. We need to consciously hack them down so that we grow into our full potential. We need to decide who we are going to let occupy our heads and our hearts.

Check out my new REAL toolkit on this theme to read some of the articles, listen to some of the podcasts and watch some of the TED talks to hear from others how they have they developed strategies to overcome their self-limiting mindset.

verb. make or become different.

noun. an act or process through which something becomes different.

I change my clothes every day… I changed a light bulb today… The spring is changing my garden day by day… Some people in my life never change…But I change how I feel about them… I am changing direction in my career… I am not someone to change my mind…

Change is a constant.

So why do we fear it? Why do we fight it?

C:
Change needs courage. Change is about relinquishing control. Change evokes compassion.

H:
Change is full of hope. Change brings happiness.

A:
Change is about adapting. Change needs to be accepted with a positive attitude.

N:
Change is letting in the new and saying goodbye to the negatives.

G:
Change is an opportunity to grow. Change is often listening to your gut.

E:
Change is something to explore, to experiment with and to embrace.

We need to reset and reframe how we see and how we experience change.

We need to seek change we can create, rather than to react to change we cannot control.

We need to change how we feel internally, so that we can respond to change externally.

Blog originally published on 8th May 2022 here.

noun. an amount of money or property left to someone in a will.

Personally, I find this definition problematic, as to me a legacy is more than what is just left in a will to family members. It is instead what is passed from one generation to the next and is a gift. A gift that is greater than money or property. A gift of ideas, of relationships, of community, of stories and of a way forward.

Moreover, leaving a personal legacy means to me that we are putting a stamp on the future, and making a contribution to future generations. We are leaving a footprint. We want to leave a legacy because we want to feel that our life mattered. A legacy is thus a lasting impact on the world.

Leaving a legacy means dreaming big and changing the world for the better.

As a Headteacher one of my favourite interview questions was about the candidate’s legacy building:

• If successful in this interview, what legacy will you leave at your current school/ in your current role?
• And fast-forwarding to the future, when it is time to move on from our school, what legacy would you want to create and leave behind here?

The answers we received were always fascinating. We discovered the impact individuals had had and wanted to have in their schools. The last one always flabbergasted them (not yet got the job but asking about when I am going to leave?!) but it also showed who had big ideas, a plan and a vision.

To leave a legacy is to create and to leave a gift. A legacy is something that is inherited from our predecessors and our ancestors, something of value that is bestowed on us to nurture and treasure as the successors/ the new keepers of that gift.

As a school leader I remember reading James Kerr’s Legacy and the impact it had me. The success of a world-class team based on their shared vision and values, their collective agency and responsibility. The All Blacks are consistently high-performing because they are a team, and they respect that they are a sum of parts.

When I reflect on the legacy I have created and left I am proud of my career. Some of the highlights of my legacy:

I was an AHT in a RI secondary school, and I was on the SLT that took the school to Outstanding, specifically increasing the GCSE English pass rate from the mid 50s to the low 80s. I also built the Performing Arts team up and recruited an amazing team who brought the school to life, reigniting the community passion for shows and events.

I was then moved across as DHT to our sibling school, an inadequate secondary school, and I was responsible for T&L and CPD. In 3 years we moved to Good with Outstanding features, but more importantly after I left, the school was reinspected and achieved Outstanding – reading the report I could see my work, the seeds I had sown, being praised. Even though I was no longer in the building, I could see my impact.

Alongside my DHT role, I co-founded #WomenEd and I am proud to see everything the community has achieved 7 years later. Two books and a global network later, but the logo I co-designed and the values I co-wrote are still living on. Every time I see them on line I am proud of my contributions.

Being the founding Headteacher of a start-up secondary school and then a year later of a start-up primary school, is also something I am immensely proud of. The founding teams poured their hearts and souls into engaging hearts and minds to build a community and a culture from scratch. It is a very special journey being a start-up team as there are few opportunities to start from scratch and build, instead of add or fix.

Alongside my HT role, I co-founded #DiverseEd and 4 years later I could not have predicted how far we would have come as a community. The thriving Mighty Network and the buzz about our book published last month are our legacy. With 125 authors in our collective voice publication, we embody the quote:

The Whole is Greater than the Sum of Parts.
Aristotle

If you want to do some more reading about Legacy then this article and resource from Tony Robbins is also worth a read:

Tony Robbins: 7 Steps to Leaving a Legacy:

1. Discover your purpose: Why are you in this world and what is your calling?
2. Reveal your natural skills and abilities: What do you have in your toolkit and are you fulfilling your potential?
3. Unlock your passion: What brings you joy and makes your heart sing?
4. Determine your X Factor: How clear are you of your Unique Selling Point and the value you add?
5. Create a business/ road map: How are you planning for the future?
6. Inspire the next generation: How are you engaging with your prospective successors?
7. Give back: How are you paying it forward or gifting your time, energy and inner resources?

Let me know what resonates and what your legacy is, or will be.

Blog originally published here.

I often reflect on our legacy as teachers, educational leaders but also as human beings. Not that I am morbid, but I do sometimes consider what will be written about me in my obituary and what will be written on my gravestone. It is a good reality check when we get lost in our roles as I will not let it be “she was a hard worker”.

I think it is a great question to ask candidates at interview:

• What would your legacy be if/when you leave your current role/ school?
• What could your legacy be if you joined us and moved on in the future?

I am really proud of the legacy I have created in previous roles where I have set up departments, coached/ mentored staff at all levels of their careers to be the best version of themselves, curated whole school events in schools were the performing arts were not valued, set up federation wide networks and projects like a MAT wide choir. Reading the Ofsted report of the school where I was Vice Principal I can see the work I did to co-lead the school from Inadequate to Outstanding, despite not being there for the inspection. As a headteacher of a start up school everything is our legacy, but we are also conscious that as we move on things will change, but what will remain? Changes in working practice such as flexible working, co-leadership models and part time leadership models I hope will be part of my legacy.

As a founding team of 2 new schools we are conscious that we are constantly sowing seeds for the future. Some days it can be frustrating that we are still nurturing shoots planted last year as it has been a long hard slog and it feels like we should see more growth, but we must remind ourselves we are only 2 terms (8 months) old at the primary and still only 1 year and 2 terms (20 months) old at the secondary. Some days we are trying to run before we can walk.

If you compare our early development as schools to that of a developing child it is a refreshing reality check about our expectations of our team, our community, our students.

An 8 month old’s development:
A whole new world of adventure is beginning to open up for your baby. Many babies start learning to crawl at this age. There will be many bumps and falls as your baby becomes more mobile, but you can help make things safe by child-proofing your home. Your baby may start to become shy of strangers, or cry if you leave him with a babysitter. This is the beginning of separation anxiety. In time he will learn that leaving him doesn’t mean that you won’t come back.

A 20 month old’s development:
Your 20 month old may be able to run, though it’ll take all his concentration, and he’ll probably still be a little unsteady. He may also go upstairs by himself, though he’s likely to need your help on the way down. Chances are, playtime is becoming even more fun as he learns new skills such as kicking and throwing. Toddlers are naturally curious about everything, including their genitals. Just as your toddler played with his fingers and toes when he was younger, he may begin to play with his genitals now. It’s completely natural, and isn’t a cause for concern unless it’s happening constantly.

We have to remember that we will not always witness our legacy whilst we are in post. This can be hard to accept. On our tough days, and there have been many this term, when our values and our resilience are being compromised, we have to pause and remind ourselves that our ripple effect of change is not immediate.

As a values-led school with a holistic approach, we are affecting change, but it is a slow change. The change can feel painfully slow as we take 1 small step forward and 2 large steps back most weeks. We need to hold on to and stay focused on the longer term attitudinal and behavioural change that will be a generational legacy. We need to appreciate that we may not see the fruits of our labour whilst we are at the Aureus Schools. It is our young people as they reach adulthood who will lead the change. Our young people are empassioned global citizens who will be the change.

Our community can be challenging, the issues our children and families face are well-masked behind our new build estates. The wider perception of Oxfordshire is warped compared to the reality. Many of our peers from previous, mainly urban schools, are not aware of the level of trauma we deal with on a daily basis. Everyone assumes it is only in urban environments that certain issues are experienced. As a school we have done a lot of training on mental health, wellbeing and Adverse Childhood Experiences. We have done wider reading on Compassionate Fatigue as the trauma our children have experienced takes it toll on our team in how it manifests itself. Our safeguarding team all have supervision as we are being over exposed to number of cases that could affect our own emotional wellbeing.

Bennie’s blog about tackling racism, does not dwell on the level of prejudice we deal with on a daily basis. The prejudice – racism, sexism, misogyny and homophobia – we tackle day in and day out. The anti-social behaviour in the community which is increasing, will challenge us further as our students become teenagers. Working closely with the local police has been a positive step forwards. We need to break some of the cycles but know that we cannot do it alone – we need a system wide, societal change to sustain it.

With our school system and our society struggling to survive in the complex and fractured landscape we find ourselves in, now more than ever before, we need to focus on the difference we can make. The culture and ethos at both of our schools is based on our shared vision and values, underpinned by relationships.

Our legacy might not be tangible, nor visible, yet, but we know we are making a difference and creating a different kind of legacy. A legacy that we will not see with our own eyes perhaps.

Wisdom from Legacy, James Kerr:

Mā te rongo, ka mohiō;

Mā te mohiō, ka mārama;

Mā te mārama, ka mātau;

Mā te mātau, ka ora.

From listening comes knowledge;

From knowledge comes understanding;

From understanding comes wisdom;

From wisdom comes well-being.

Blog originally published here.

Invited to contribute to one of The Big Education’s ‘Big Conversations’ I was excited to join a stellar line up including Sir Tim Brighouse, Karen Giles and Nadine Bernard. Each speaker contributed a perspective on leadership which we all agreed should be underpinned by values, integrity and authenticity. However, we realised that in order to talk with conviction about vulnerability it felt appropriate to reveal some of our own vulnerabilities, both professionally and personally, so that the audience may learn from our reflections on our career experiences and indeed mistakes we had made along the way.

So, my musings began: Is vulnerability a new thing? Indeed, it is not. Is it a new thing when we are looking at leadership? Perhaps it is. How does it relate to hero leadership? Well, this is where it gets interesting in my eyes – if we review the dominant narrative and imagery of leadership, it is depicted as acts of heroism, as an effective leader being a strong leader, and often through a gender stereotyped lens too.

When you start searching for vulnerability definitions and quotations some common ideas begin to take shape which encompass elements of uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. An expert in the field of vulnerability is Positive Psychologist Brene Brown who has written a number of books and delivered a TED talk on why we need to embrace it.

“Vulnerability is at the core, the centre, of meaningful human experiences”. (Brown)

Thus as schools are people-centred, and the ultimate success of a school is based on the quality of the relationships nurtured between the people the school serves and those who are serving them, then the messiness of the human existence and the rawness of human vulnerability is at the core of education.

As school leaders we work with increasingly vulnerable communities. We are under daily pressure to meet the needs of the children in our care, their families and the wider community. As a headteacher I was acutely aware of the emotional labour my team were weighed down with as we safeguarded our school community. As a school we decided to put mental health and wellbeing at the centre of our curriculum and our decision making as a school, which elevated the initiatives we committed to such as our art therapy, thrive and nurture programmes.

Alongside the needs of our students, we also needed to meet the needs of our vulnerable staff. As a school who was prepared to do things differently to strive for a different outcome, our hope and optimism attracted staff who were looking for solutions, staff who wanted to stay in the system but who were feeling forced out. A school is often a safe haven, a place of security and stability, a place of belonging and visibility, a place of diversity and inclusion. In her work on silence and speaking out, Audrey Lourde suggests “that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength”. (Lourde, 2017)

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they are never weakness”. (Brown, Daring Greatly , 2015)

It has become more and more apparent that some schools are more vulnerable than others to work in. Schools serving the disadvantaged communities, coastal schools and schools with poor inspection outcomes often become SNOW schools (schools no one wants) which are then often academized and (re) brokered into trusts to fix.

In our current school system we equally find that school teachers and school leaders are finding themselves in increasingly vulnerable roles. The ‘glass ceiling’ for women leaders in the school system has been a high-profile topic of debate for the last five years since we started #WomenEd a grassroots gender equality movement. With the arrival of our sibling #BAMEed, our reflections and discussions moved from the ‘glass’ ceilings to ‘concrete’ ceilings as we scrutinised the data of the demographic breakdown of our teachers and leaders versus our students. In an increasingly diverse country, with nearly one quarter of children in our primary schools representing a range of different cultures we have a disconnect when the number of BAME teachers is significantly lower than this and the number of BAME school leaders represent a marginal percentage. With national initiatives to increase the number of women and BAME headteachers, we need to ensure that they are recruited to roles which are well-supported and do not end up in roles which are ‘glass cliffs’, those roles which are isolated, unstable and unsupported. Vulnerable demographic groups ending up in vulnerable roles in vulnerable schools is problematic for our workforce data as the narrative then becomes warped about who the ‘heroes’ in the system are.

“Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome. Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage”. (Brown, Rising Strong, 2015)

We also find ourselves in an era where we are struggling to recruit and retain teachers, but equally where we have a high attrition rate and mobility of headteachers. There is an emerging narrative of headteachers speaking out about the vulnerability of their role. James Pope, the former Headteacher who featured on the ‘School’ television documentary has started a campaign and series of events to support school leaders who are casualties of the system. With the corporatisation of our education system, the HR processes and systems in schools are becoming increasingly business like. The language of ‘NDA’s, ‘Gagging Orders’, ‘Pay Offs’ and ‘Gardening Leave’ is now commonplace.

As I prepared my speech, listened to the other speakers, reflected on the topic and discussed it with others in the room my final thoughts are: is there a difference to being vulnerable and feeling vulnerable as a school leader? Do we thereby need to learn from and embrace these facets in different ways?

“Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need. To talk about how you’re feeling. To have the hard conversations”. (Brown, Daring Greatly , 2015)

To embrace our vulnerability we are encouraged to: find the courage to be seen; ask for what we need; accept the imperfect; show compassion to self and others; talk about how we are feeling; be authentic; be prepared to take risks; own our stories. A great piece of advice I once received stated that: maybe life isn’t about avoiding the bruises, maybe it’s about collecting the scars to prove we showed up for it. This resonated with me and my philosophy of character education, growth mindset and learning from mistakes, as a fear of failure can inhibit our potential. In order for us to be ‘innovative, creative and agents of change’ we need to lean into our vulnerability. (Brown, Daring Greatly , 2015)

Hannah Wilson
Former Executive Headteacher, Co-Founder of #WomenEd and Head of Secondary Teacher Training

References
Brown, B. (2015). Daring Greatly . New York: Penguin.
Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong . New York: Penguin.
Brown, B. (n.d.). The Power of Vulnerability. TED Talk.
Lourde, A. (2017). Your Silence Will Not Protect You. Silver Press.

Blog originally published here.

Fragility: noun. the quality of being easily broken or damaged; the quality of being easily harmed or destroyed.

See my twitter thread on Fragility which led to this blog.

Life is fragile. The world is fragile. Humanity is fragile.

When I think of fragile things I think of bubbles, snowflakes, panes of glass, flowers, butterflies, glass baubles and dandelion clocks.

Fragile, delicate things. Things that break easily. Things that shatter.

The universe has spoken in the last few months and reminded us of the fragility of our lives, our world and our humanity.

We have been reminded that we are not in control. We have been reminded that life is short. We have been reminded that we will all die one day.

I have always been afraid of death. I had nightmares as a child about it. I would wake myself up crying, scared of people around me dying.

As a 41 year old I have surprisingly never been to a funeral. I have attended just one memorial for a friend who died of cancer when we had just finished university. Her body succumbed to the illness on her third wave as it crept into her spinal cord.

Synonyms for fragile include brittle, breakable, flimsy, weak, frail, delicate and eggshell. For fragility we can interchange frailty, weakness, delicacy and vulnerability.

I sometimes wish we could wrap our loved ones up in cotton wool, put them in a bubble to protect them from harm.

Thinking about the calcified shell of an egg, I wonder about the scientific wonder of a brittle layer, holding life within. Protecting the inner contents from force, desiccation and danger.

Fragile things need to be guarded, they need to be treated with care. One careless touch can irrevocably damage that state of a delicate object.

But then we come to white fragility. A term that has become part of the common parlance in the #BlackLivesMatter narrative.

Unlike, the delicate, beautiful, fragile objects we need to preserve and protect, white fragility, to the converse does need shattering.

White Fragility: noun. discomfort and defensiveness on the part of a white person when confronted by information about racial inequality and injustice.
In 2011, Robin DiAngelo coined the term “white fragility” to describe the disbelieving defensiveness that white people exhibit when their ideas about race and racism are challenged—and particularly when they feel implicated in white supremacy.

I repeat: Life is fragile. The world is fragile. Humanity is fragile.

Yet, we have an issue. We seem to be more uncomfortable in being party to a conversation about racism, than we are about the act of racism itself.

All human lives are fragile, there is not a hierarchy of some lives being of more value than others. We live in the same world, but some parts are more fragile than others. Some inhabitants exist in more delicate and more fragile situations than others. Humanity is fragile, but there is a scale of fragility. We will all die, but we do not all fear death and danger, day in and day out.

We, as white people, need to educate ourselves on our whiteness. Words I am reading, seeing and hearing regularly that need unpacking:

White privilege: white skin privilege refers to societal privilege that benefits white people over non-white people in some societies, particularly if they are otherwise under the same social, political, or economic circumstances.

White supremacy: is the racist belief that white people are superior to people of other races and therefore should be dominant over them.

White power: a white supremacist slogan designed to mimic the “black power” slogan often used by African-Americans in the 1960s/70s. It is a commonly shouted at white supremacist events as a racist rallying cry.

White silence: white silence is experienced by members of the White culture who, during discussions of racial issues, experience negative emotions including guilt and anger. When these feelings are not addressed, Whites begin to resist certain content areas. This resistance takes on the form of White silence.

White allies: a white ally acknowledges the limits of her/his/their knowledge about other people’s experiences but doesn’t use that as a reason not to think and/or act. A white ally does not remain silent but confronts racism as it comes up daily, but also seeks to deconstruct it institutionally and live in a way that challenges systemic oppression, at the risk of experiencing some of that oppression. Being a white ally entails building relationships with both people of color, and also with white people in order to challenge them in their thinking about race. White allies don’t have it all figured out, but are committed to non-complacency.

White tears: The phrase has been used to gently tease white people who get upset at things they think threaten their white privilege. It’s been used to poke fun at white people who think that talking about race makes you a racist.

Whitesplain: ‘splain’ has since become an affix signifying a patronizing, condescending explanation, usually given by a person in a privileged position. Whitesplain, then, is when a white person explains a topic, often concerning matters of social justice or minority culture, in an overconfident, often inaccurate manner to people of color. (A new one I heard for the first time this week is: “PrivSplain“)

White panels: white people need to get better at seeing race, addressing it, and addressing our own complicity. Taking part in all-white panels – especially on a subject where race is central – simply isn’t good enough.

Other phrases that are showing up repeatedly that we also need to consider the significance and connotations of are: White pillars. White solidarity. White equilibrium. White racism. White progressives. White hostility. Colour Blindness.

Why is it so hard for white people to talk about racism?

This is the question posed by academic Robin D’Angelo in her book “White Fragility”. Her research exposes racism in thought and action – it is a call for humility and vigilance.

“The problem with white people,” she says, “is that they just don’t listen. In my experience, day in and day out, most white people are absolutely not receptive to finding out their impact on other people. There is a refusal to know or see, or to listen or hear, or to validate.”
Robin D’Angelo

I have seen a lot of white people get very uncomfortable about what to do and what to say in the current context. Conversations about racism will cause discomfort and defensiveness. Our focus and attention should be on the discomfort of others, our defence should be of lives not egos.

We, as white people, need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable, that is how we listen, we learn and we progress.

We, as white people, need to stop being part of the problem, and we instead, need to start being part of the solution.

We, as white people, need to put our disbelief and sensitivity to one side and we need to be aware that we are complicit in society’s institutional racism.

Being silent is not enough. We need to be anti-racists rather than non-racists. We need to be active not passive in our commitment to ensuring that everyone is seen, everyone is heard, everyone is valued.

We have had a wake-up call, and we need to put our fragility to one side, and respond.

We need to check our privilege and we need to commit to being better, to doing better. One thing I am going to commit to continuing to do is calling out all-white line ups.

As women we have critiqued all male line ups at events, but as women now penetrate more panels and their voices are heard in more spaces, we need to make sure that white women are opening the door for brown and black women to step in and share that space. I am seeing too many influential white women in education accepting to speak at events where there is not diverse representation. This is not good enough.

We need to pop the bubble we exist in.

Brene Brown has started a campaign this week called #ShareTheMicNow to model how to do that. Please check it out.

noun. the right or condition of self-government; (in Kantian moral philosophy) the capacity of an agent to act in accordance with objective morality rather than under the influence of desires.

In developmental psychology and moral, political, and bioethical philosophy, autonomy is the capacity to make an informed, uncoerced decision. Autonomous organisations or institutions are independent or self-governing.

I thrive in cultures which enable autonomy. I love being autonomous.

When I reflect on my roles over time I realise that my job satisfaction, my sense of fulfilment and my wellbeing were deeplf affected by how autonomous I could be in each role, in each organisation, in each context.

As an Assistant Principal, my Principal trusted me, he empowered me to be autonomous and I thrive. As a Vice Principal, my new Principal controlled us, he micro-managed me so we were disempowered. As a Headteacher I was initially quite autonomous, and then the Trust became more and more controlling, each line manager tried to rein me/ us in (also all men).

The tensions between my line manage, my employer and I have all stemmed back to my autonomy being restricted or removed. I wonder if perhaps my frustration also links back to the patriarchal power structures at play.

Our ability to be autonomous comes from our ability, our experience, our capacity, our confidence along with how we are trusted and how we are held to account. Our ability to enable and empower others to be autonomous relies on our trust and faith in them.

For me, autonomy is rooted in independence. It is fuelled by the need for freedom. It is framed through integrity.

Our schools do not enable and empower teachers and leaders to be autonomous. Our system conditions us to be compliant. Our society trains us to follow rules, to not be disruptive or rebellious.

Do we fear autonomy? Are we afraid of losing control?

“The 3 things that motivate creative people: autonomy, mastery and purpose”.
Daniel H.Pink

We go into teaching as our purpose, we deepen our understanding and polish our craft to become masters, as creative beings it is the autonomy or lack of that drives us out.

“Autonomy is different from independence. It means acting with choice”.
Daniel H. Pink

We enable and empower others, the children we serve, the teams we lead to be independent and to make choices. Being autonomous is also about owning those choices and the consequences that arise.

“Control leads to compliance: autonomy leads to engagement”.
Daniel H. Pink

We seek to self-manage and to self-regulate, we strive to enable others to do the same. When we relinquish control, when we release the need for compliance, autonomy increases and engagement thrives.

“Alignment enables autonomy”.
Henrik Kniberg

After 18 years of working in the system, I have taken the leap of faith to work independently. I am now truly autonomous. My purpose, my passion and my gifts are in alignment as my intentions, my practice and my autonomy are brought to life – they are working in synergy with one another.

I know who I am, I know what I want to do and I know what I can do. I know that I am doing what I am mean to do because I am happy, content, stress-free. I feel purposeful, passionate and fulfilled.

What I didn’t realise when I made that leap of faith was that I had already wings – I had built them over time. As I jumped from the cliff and left security, stability and safety behind me, my wings have enabled me to transform into the autonomous being I have also needed to be. I make informed uncoerced decisions, I am independent and self-governing. I am empowered in my autonomy.